Kim-Chan

I've been 'depressed' every now and then, but I always seem to end up shoving it aside and end up forgetting about why I'm sad. I only do that because I don't like feeling sad, but I guess that makes me a coward for not directly facing my fears.. *sigh* I get depressed for a lot of reasons.. I don't know who I really am, I act differently depending on who I'm with. I feel like I can't find who I actually am.. I get depressed when I'm compared to someone. I start to feel so down on myself, I start thinking that I'm not good enough. I know when my mom starts comparing me to other kids my age she doesn't try to mean harm. I know she doesn't want me to feel bad that I never work as hard. I know, but it still hurts. I realize I'm not the best person out there who works the hardest, but when it's said right to my face my heart just, shatters... I also can't stand the fact I barely get along with my parents. They think they know me so well, but that's not true.. I'm not as open to them, because they grew up differently and I don't think they'd understand, and me telling them my problems might stir up more trouble in my life. They don't like my way of doing things, they tell me to do everything first and relax later. Okay, I don't mind, but I believe it's my homework, my life, my friends, I might work differently from how they do but I always get the job done. I get them an A. I don't go out and do drugs. I live properly, but I don't match their expectations.. I do love my parents I do, they brought me into this world I KNOW. But I feel like we are never on the same page, after 4th grade I feel like I changed. which worries me because after 4th grade is when I got into anime. I thought I felt more alive at that time, my eyes opened up.. but it seems it wasn't so positive of an effect for my relation with my parents... I get depressed because, already I've had a lot of ups and downs in life. I've had so many people I care about have to leave me. Gone. No trace of where they are now, or their well being. I had a time in life where I was poor. Dirt poor, lived in a cruddy home and we were just really poor. But I liked that time in my life, it was a bliss. I had good friends, I was nice and sweet, I was on good terms with my parents, and I felt like everything I wanted was there. I didn't need a big house, I didn't need nice clothes, &I didn't need to be filthy stinkin' rich and famous to be happy. I was happy. But that shattered when I moved away. I got a better house, better stuff, but it seems my trust with people around me no longer existed. I got meaner, I had my guard up. I had a really hard time letting people in. I still do, sure I'm friendly with everyone, but I'm not CLOSE to anyone because I'm afraid to lose them.. I afraid they'll leave.. I don't want that feeling. And hopefully this is the last thing I think of.. I get depress when I can't do anything. I hate waiting &listening. I always admire those character that wait for someone for such a long time span. Why? Because I have a hard time achieving what they can do. To wait, to not be able to help, to be unaware of everything, to just ..wait. I hate the feeling of useless- ness. I don't like listening either, my friend tells me their problems and I can't do anything to help, I just listen. I feel so useless. My attempts of cheering up don't help either.. Moving on..ok this is for sure the last thing.. I get depressed when I can't fix my bad habits. I'm selfish. I admit that. I'm selfish. I want to be the one who thinks of others but I always end up thinking about only myself. I think of people who barely cling on to life, and I think about me, the person who doesn't like life. The pessimistic one. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and a warm bed and I still complain. A kid in Africa barely has enough clothing to wear nonetheless enough food to eat. I keep underestimating my life. My parents grew up very poor in Vietnam. Worked hard everyday, and didn't have the money to even finish school properly. Then they went through war. Their parents died when they were teens. I complain about my life because I feel different. Misunderstood. Other people? They're strong, they walk on their two feet and don't complain. Complaining gets them no where. I know that. But I can't take action I have to whine. I have to let it out to soothe my emotions. I want to be strong. I want to see life for the good thing because everywhere I walk I can only see the flaws, the pain. I seek comfort, that person that will listen to me and let me pour my heart out.I want someone to talk to again, because my bestfriend who understood me, moved. She moved to the other side of the country do to family reason.. And you know, I think the reason I love anime/manga so much is because it's my escape. I can let go of this world and meet someone else. Someone brave. Someone kind. Someone strong. Someone I can look up to, someone that can guide me. Yeah.. So sorry about the ultra long and unorganized paragraphs. I just needed to let it out. And if anyone ever actually takes time to read that all, I salute you. Okay I feel a bit pained now, remembering the sad stuff, but I also feel better to let it out. This helped me a lot. I think I'll be posting here more often..

Matsuda Junpei? I hope that's what you mean because I just traded Megure for him XP But I don't think he's a very dramatic character, beside he appeared for like, 2-3 episodes.

Watch Episode 40 or something around that... he get's drunk and a hangover XD

I found out I'm actually rather geeky. I have an advanced math class, I read comic books (MANGA), I get all A's, I eventually will get braces, and I'm not all too popular (I'm pretty well known though..).

I wish I wasn't so grouchy in the morning, I think I made him sad now

^this. How many times have I felt this way..? I lose count *sigh*

Sorry about that.. I fixed it :mrgreen: As simple as it's read, which DC characters are most dramatic. Like over-exaggerating, always too worried, and etc.. You can also think of dramatic as 'passionate' if it helps

Ideas just pop up when I'm in the shower Anyways, I'd like to see some answers before I give my own

Terrified- Katharine McPhee<3

The coloring is fabulous. The face is a bit too slim though... 6th movie is defiantly one of my favorites ^____^ Great work and a rep to you~!

Oh grr auto-correct. Kim turns into Jim, which is why my friend calls me Slim-Jim now Although I was pretty sure it's only for iPhones and such... But like, the internet. Is it so hard just to type properly...?

^ So true. i h8te it wen they type lyk dis I mean come on, if spell check broken or something?

^

Not at all. American cartoons, I can't watch normal TV after I discovered anime.. It's just.. Their cartoons are so POINTLESS. So MEANINGLESS. I don't feel anything for them anymore. No funny or sadness. I miss the old days *sigh* Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, Codename Kids Next Door, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Edd Ed n' Eddy, Danny Phantom, &Code Lyoko Where did they go? D: Anyway... Lady Gaga... :V

I wonder people continue to wait for those who won't come back.. I wonder why I still continue to do that as well..

It's the same as Abercombie &Fitch with different names on them. Most American cartoons nowadays.

Hmm... I'll consider that ~!

You guys are too nice ..

Is the pun intended?

Nooo ... Because I want him and Who's going to take care of Ai-chan ? D:

I wonder if I'm going to change in the future, If I change will it be for the better? The worse?