anniemay

Thanks and I'll do my best to get the spacing fixed.

Thank you and I will.

I'm a bit timid all around..but I have to say walking alone outside at night or being alone in crowded places I don't know.

I have to go with any darker shade of blue.

Welcome Camdoie!!! Have fun on the site! If you have any questions I'll help you find the answers.

It does help. Thanks

Welcome Xlaiielv! Hope you have fun here!

Thanks for the tip Lupin. Thanks for the welcome!

Thank you! What you think of the changes I made to the story. changed the intro paragraph, fixed the paragraphing and changed all words to present tense.

Thanks I'll keep that in mind. I had a feeling that I messed up with the spacing..well practice makes prefect right?

It's great thank you!

Your friend is off to a great start! Tell him to keep going!

This is just a intro to a Character in a DC spin off I'm working on. Enjoy! 8:00 P.M- heist (Sea-dragon) "This place is swarming with police, guess the owner brought the letter to them,"I mumbled to myself. I looked around the room seeing fancy red and blue rags leading to the center of the room, high ceiling and a glass at the center. I could hear a rough and angry voice from the next room down. "I can't believe that someone will be insane enough to announce their plan," the voice grumbled that was no doubt a older man. "Well it's time for the show,"I said to myself just as I crawled through the vent I had used to get in to building. "Who are you!" one of the police demanded when I got out of the vent. "Only the person who sent the letter,"I told him coolly then made my way to the glass case in the middle of the room. "What is going on!" yelled an older and more seasoned officer as he came running in with another person. One of the officers pointed at me and said in shaky voice "Over there Inspector." The Inspector turned and his eyes widen when he saw me on the glass case with a large sapphire in my hand. I just stood there few seconds and looked at the Inspector’s shocked face. “Who are you!” the Inspector demanded. “I told you in the the letter I sent the owner, didn’t I?” I asked. The Inspector stood there ,shocked and infuriated, like the rest of his men. “I guess you didn’t read my letter, so let me tell you. I am Kid Kloak!”I said with a little bow. The Inspector’s tan weathered face went as red as lava with anger and dislike. “Why... you...,” the Inspector snarled. “Huh? What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? I asked with a chuckle. “Get him men! Get that Kloak! ” the Inspector bellowed. The officers charged at me. “You know Inspector, twilight blue is one of earth’s most precious colors,”I said. “Why is that?” the Inspector asked as he charged. “It is one of the colors of the early night sky, which is the best time for magic!” I chuckled as I vanished in to a cloud of smoke. The smoke spread to the whole room, in grayish-pink cloud. "What's this?” the policemen coughed as they tried to see through the smoke. It was a few minutes or so before the smoke cleared. "Where did he go?" one of the officers asked in confusion. "Right here in plain sight where you'll not find me," I whispered to myself. I had hidden in the wooden part of the glass case, that was to hold what the case hold during transport. “There is no way a small, blue cloak wearing kid could get away from a dozen trained policemen!” the Inspector Yelled. “Man that inspector is going to lose his voice if he keeps that up,” I mumbled under my breath. “Sir, I think that his cloak was either midnight or twilight blue,” an officer announced as he returned from his search. “Thank you for that important piece of information,”the Inspector sighed as he put his hand to his head. “Man it’s been fifteen minutes,don’t these policemen have lives?” I asked myself. “Inspector no one has seen anyone bearing the Kloak’s description leave the building,” an officer informed the Inspector. “That means that he has to be in the building, maybe even in this room,” the Inspector concluded. Twenty minutes passed, and the police still didn't find my hiding spot. The bad thing is that I was stuck in the dark tight hiding place I picked. “Maybe Kloak hid in a vent and got away while we searched and no one saw,” the Inspector mumbled to himself. “Sir we searched everywhere and still no luck,” an officer reported. “Everywhere but the most noticeable place,” I chuckled quietly. “Inspector I heard that the wooden part of the case the Sea-dragon was in is hollow so he could be there,” an another officer huffed. “Go look then!,” the Inspector ordered and fix his dusty gray hat. “Oh no!” I gasped and sweat started to pour down my face. The sound of them coming closer and then removing the glass filled my ears. “There we go...ah Klo..!” the officers gasped as they fell to the ground. “Wha..!” the Inspector gasped and stepped back. “Looks like hide and seek is done,” I grumbled as I climb out of the wooden box. “What did you do to my men!” the Inspector demands. “Oh I only gave them some sleeping gas,” I said innocently. “Get him!” the Inspector bellowed points toward me with weathered tan hand. “Bye for now Inspector,” I said tauntingly with a tip of my hat. I made my get away through the nearby window and floated through the twilight blue colored sky with my cloak parachute. Please tell me what you think and if there is any errors.

Thank you and welcome to you as well! That quote is one of my favorites!

Sure I don't mind if you call me Anime.

Thanks you!I know I will!

Thanks for the welcome Nice quote

It's great!Thank you for continuing.I really want to know what happens!

Not yet but it should be soon though

Well here is one my characters in something I'm working on What's His/Her name:Tomi Kawatake What's His/Her age: 14-15 years What grade/year is He/She(1st grade, 11th grade, college.etc):9th grade Is your character a boy or girl:boy What's His/Her nationality(American, French, Australian.etc):Japaneses and American What type of character is He/She(Main Character, Supporting Character, Comic Relief.etc):Main in Kid Kloak(story I'm writing) and support in a Detective Conan spin off I'm about to start. Is He/She funny? If so how funny:In how he tends to push off he abilities as luck Is he a good guy or bad guy:Mostly good only bad during heist Is he meant to BREAK Conan down or build him up:hard to tell build up if I really get down to it What type of person is He/She(Nerd, Bully, Popular, Nice.etc):popular but a bet nerdy around others What's His/Her IQ:He is able to think on par with Conan and Kaito Does He/She speak more than one language? If so what:English and Japanese Does He/She know martial arts? Which:He is a gymnast with some Karate knowlegde Does He/She carry around a weapon? Which:gun that shoots special bulletes(large rubber bands and a sticky goo, both used to slow down oppents.) Does He/She ride a vehicle(Car, Skateboard, Bike.etc):Skateboard and Skates Does He/She have a job:no Does He/She play an instrument? What:Piano Would He/She cry in the story? Why:No he wouldn't What is He/She(Detective, Black Organization Member, FBI, CIA.etc):Thief but helps Conan on some of his cases Does He/She have any fears:People to find out his secret of being Kloak kid and deep water Is He/She In love with someone? Who:Lorie Does He/She HATE someone? Who:Gin and the black organization Is He/She afraid of someone? Who:No has no one he fears Who is His/Her Idol:His grandfather Would He/She sacrifice Him/Her-self for someone? Who:Yes any close friends and his family Does He/She have any special skills?(Martial Arts, Detective Skills.etc)If so What are they:Sharp mind and magician of some level. He also is a dare devil of a strategist (being able to think his way through anything and do it.) How is He/She relevant to the story:He helps Kaito look for Pandora and Conan to take the Black org. Where is He/She from(If he/she is from Japan what part of Japan):Northern Japan How Did He/She meet Conan and the others:Picking up his step brother at school Does He/She know Conan's identity? If so how did He/She find out:Not sure but maybe.. What makes Him/Her stand out in a crowd:A blue handkerchief he has on him at all times Does He/She die later on in the story? If so how:No What does He/She look like(Hair Color, Physique, Eye color.etc):glasses, pale blue eyes What color is His/Her hair:Medium brown How long is His/Her hair:short butt a little shaggy What is His/Her skin tone:a shade darker then Conan What is His/Her muscle tone:Welled toned but is over looked easily Rate His/Her looks from 1-10:6

It's good! Are there any other parts? If not you should add to it!