Kiel95
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Content Count
1470 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
7
Everything posted by Kiel95
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more packed then sad... the only sad part is the hw and school part!!!
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I'm doing fine and you??? umm well i felt like saying hi... ^-^ we havn't talked in a while so i felt like saying hi.... so... yeah... HI XDDDD
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yeah, sorry it's been so long... it should be over soon too... rgh... why must i have so much stuff to do!!! i have to do christmas shopping, have to clean my room, have to finish my story, have to edit my friends story, have to write my shinshi/aicon and shinran christmas stories, keep working on my main story which needs major editing and needs to be finished, and i'm totally hooked on some manga and manhwa... argh!!! my days are just packed >.<
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HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
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deeeeaaaal!!!!
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hrm... i guess... just keep the lovey doveyness out of the story between shinichi and ran as well... that wouldn't be fair >.< if anything, make it so both have a romantic event with him... (harem... lol XDD)
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hey shuu~chan.... i've been wondering for a while... why do you say 'Owww!' i mean... that's what you use when you've gotten hurt of something.... when you're surprised, or you've just understood something it's 'Ohhh!' it's not much of a difference... its just, i get slightly thrown off, cuz sometimes i speak out loud when i'm reading something, and it feels strange... just wondering...
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hmm, it is a good story line.. but i think it needs a bit more to it... like, the whole thing can't just be over at that... Gin isn't so stupid as to get shot by a girl with no experience from any range farther than like 7ft... maybe if you had him rush at her angrily and she raise the gun in defense, pulling the trigger unintentionally, she can hit him in a vital spot, though he won't die for a few minutes, and right as he goes to kill her, that's when the help arrives... also, it would take a little while for him to change back into conan, it can't be that quick... make it a little more descriptive (sometimes that makes it seem like more time has gone by) anyways, can't wait for the next chapter!!! (P.S. i'm quite sad i didn't get to comment first :cry: )
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you must add ai! you already added some of ran... it wouldn't be fair otherwise!!!
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yay!!! kill RAN!!! let ai/shiho and conan/shinichi's love prevail!!!! love it although kazuha should've come, she wouldn't let ran off that easily
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lol, ok... but just so you know... i'm considering adding in some stuff... like from her brother's point of view... it will add a lot to the story (although it won't change too much)
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WTH?!?!? i thought you were farther than that
that's only like the 6th or 7th page! oh geez... i gave away a LOT more than i thought i was O.o -
go back to the camp? do you mean the merchant camp after they save...___? or did i just give something away?
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Shuu~chan... i think it is supposed to be interpreted as... (talking about the last one here) ok... so i added a bit in there... but this is how i would interprate it and re-write it... it was a bit hard for me to understand.... i just hope i wasn't way off the mark here and yes, it is a run-on sentence... but i wasn't so much paying attention to that as what i think it is supposed to mean...
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ah, well it isn't over yet, i'm still finishing it up.... so, what part have you gotten to?
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have you started reading it? if so how far? and do you like it so far? (sorry, i ask many questions... always nervous about getting feedback)
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interesting... but do you think next time you can start a new paragraph each time the person talking switches? it gets kinda confusin otherwise... (but i can't wait for next part!!!)
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ok
but just so you know, it isn't done yet, and i need to be editing it... A LOT -
hmm, seems intersting... can you add a lil more ai to this ? XD good story though, can't wait!
no prob