Lemme finish the chapter:
Slowly, I pick up my feet, trudge unwillingly from my secret haven, a peaceful place despite what had happened here. I reach into my pocket, pull out a rose, one so similar to the ones that Kaito would always give to me. This is what I’ll leave with him when I have to go.
Every day, despite my best intentions, I always question my resolve- to avenge them. I have made up so many excuses. We know nothing about the crimes. They might not even be related. What’s the motive? Suspect? Where did the weapons go? Why the heck were there weapons there? And in Kaito’s case, why was he walking down that street?
He was found with nothing on him; it would have been mistaken for a violent robbery if not for the fact that the gun used was an assault rifle, an illogical weapon for something as simple as money snatching. The chance that he witnessed some sort of shady deal is high, but what person carries such a large gun with them for blackmail? Hakuba-kun made slight, suggesting comments that Kaito had been walking home from thieving, and was unfortunately shot by the same one who killed my dad.
How on earth could Kaito be the Kaitou Kid? If he was Kid, he would have been found with the flashy white outfit at least. Not to mention, less than a month after his death (there was a mysterious break.) the Kid was flying through the skies again. One of the police officers had said his ‘aura’ was different, but it didn’t mean anything. There was only one Kid, right?
“Maybe not. I always felt there was something a little suspicious about Kuroba-kun,” whispered Akako, no menace in her voice. “It would be easier that way, right? At least you’d have something to build on other than the nothingness you have now.”
“Kaito would have told me!” I insisted, fresh tears in my eyes at the thought. He had to have trusted me enough for that at least, believed enough in me to confide an important secret. “He would always tell me everything! Ever since we were little kids!”
“Some secrets are dangerous to share, and maybe that was just the case.” Her ruby eyes shine with an emotion I can't comprehend; is it knowledge? "Keep in mind one of his favorite sayings."
"Always keep a good Poker Face," I murmur, letting it sink in, weighing her words. It was true; Kaito had become extraordinary at the hard, cold mask I've tried my best to copy, but I refused to consider he had been lying. "That doesn't prove anything."
"Maybe not. But it might help in the long run." She excuses herself from my room, my dorm room I could not afford to live in my old house. I didn't want to. All I could think about there is dad.
How he'd sit at the table impatiently, asking me to make breakfast due to his extreme incompetence at cooking. How he'd smash his fist into the countertop, complaining about the pain and cussing out the Kid after yet another loss. How he'd comfort me whenever I was down, and just how he'd be there for me. Watching TV, drinking beer, I could feel his presence, however nonexistent it was.
Unconsciously, my feet have taken me to my destination; a black stone engraved in white writing.
Kuroba Kaito
Born June 21st, 1991
Died December 21st, 2008
A great friend, and a great son. A brilliant student, and a pleasure to be around. He will always be remembered, carried in our hearts and minds.
Below that lay a small photo; his sharp blue eyes shining like a fox's, grinning ear to ear as if he had planned a prank, which he probably did. He had on his school uniform, which he had actually been wearing when he died. Hair was messy as usual, chocolate bangs falling in all different directions; even then this picture couldn't capture his essence.
How his eyes would sparkle like sapphires while he laughed, how his smile could make anyone's day. The way his voice traveled, pleasant and cheerful, filled with arrogance and a 'could-care-less' attitude. His spirit, playful as a child's, cocky as a rooster's, devious as a fox to the end.
Was it to the end? How did he react when the bullet pierced through his skull, an arrow stealing his soul? He must have acted like a normal human being; screamed in pain, shivered for one desperate moment with fear. Somehow
I can't see Kaito crying out loud, a plea for help, a plea to be saved. See him freeze cold with horror, hopeless acceptance of death. I just skip from the rifle shot to when I found him, keeping my perfect image of him untarnished.
"Sorry I made you wait so long, Kaito." I lay down the slightly wilted rose, petals crushed from my squeezing fingers, thorns removed, except for one that has pierced my skin. I ignore the pain, the small torrent of red emerging from the cut. The rose is red, a symbol of my love, still strong though he's in a different world. "Had to take a test today in class. I think I did okay."
There is silence where he would have answered, and then the cooing of a pigeon- or is it a dove? I peek out of the corner of my eye to see the snowy white bird, golden beak and feet. It spreads its beautiful wings, startled at my sudden interest.
I take out a piece of bread, leftovers from breakfast, and toss a few crumbs to show I mean no harm. It hesitantly takes a few steps forward, then charges, gulping down the food.
Maybe it's Kaito's dove; that's definitely a possibility. Nobody was willing to look after his multitude of birds after the murder, and they ended up being set free. I wonder if it remembers its old master, his ashes sitting just under the obsidian colored stone.
After its snack, it flies away, leaving me alone in the empty cemetery. As it is the middle of the day, nobody is here. Or so I thought.
I hear voices, clear and unmistakable, emanate from close by. I prick my ears and hear a hushed two-person chorus of thank-yous, and surprised eyes meet mine from the other side of the graveyard.
"Aoko-chan!" Ran waves at me cheerfully, running over in excitement. She hugs me, face red in the winter cold. "I haven't seen you in so long! How have you been doing?"
"Good! I just had my finals earlier, so I decided I'd pop in and pay my friend here a visit." I point behind me, and her gaze flies to the photo, a splitting image to boy behind her.
"That's the Kaito-kun you were talking about? Wow, I didn't think he'd look so-"
"So much like Kudo-kun? They're pretty similar, aren't they?"
"Yeah, no wonder you were so surprised when I first introduced you to Shinichi." Her eyes light up with guilt, but I wink to let her know I don't care.
Shinichi walks over and gives me a nod before turning to his girlfriend. "You forgot to put down your lily for Haibara," he tells Ran, his blue orbs filled with such tenderness that I will never be able to understand its depth.
"Oops!" she blurts out. "I didn't mean to! Give me a minute!" She runs back towards a pure white marble gravestone of which name and photo are obscured by distance.
"Who's Haibara?" I ask Shinichi, curiously.
"A close friend of ours. She died trying to help us. We're going to complete the mission for her." His irises are glowing with determined fire, something I wish I had in me.
"I'm going to avenge my friend too." I sound lame compared to him; his voice radiating with confidence.
"Kuroba Kaito? I heard that case, but the truth is I can't help the police despite wanting to be a detective. I'm being hidden under an alias right now, Sasaki Sora. Just wanted you to know. Ran usually forgets to mention it." He shrugs his shoulders as Ran returns.
"What did I forget?" she pants out, staring at him.
"Nothing, Ran." There's just something so special, so sweet, so loving in the way he says her name, indescribable and undeniably beautiful. It makes me jealous as I ponder the 'what if's.
What if Kaito and I fell in love? What if we had a future together? What if he had survived?
A vision of us, me curled in his strong arms, sitting on his lap, him smiling as we snuggled closer together. I see happiness and hear quiet laughter, smell his crisp, fresh clean scent, feel the warmth of his body pressed against mine. Perfect.
Tiny footsteps sound from the other room, and cheerful cries of joy. A pair of blue-eyed children with dark brown hair peek from the doorway, then run away.
Suddenly Kaito disappears, fading along the fire-warmed room. The walls dissipate, and I am in the graveyard, still watching those two, lost in the depths each other's stares, amethyst and sapphire.
"How about I introduce you to Haibara?" he leads me to the marble headstone where I see a picture of a light tea-haired woman.
Her icy eyes sparkle like a cat's, unreadable and mysterious, and her lips are curled into a slight enigmatic smile. For some reason, I feel this unexplainable connection between her and the boy beside me; not affection for a lost friend like me, but like two threads intertwined by destiny, trapped in the same fate. Perhaps not lovers, but as close as a brother and sister, dependent on each other for a different kind of survival, life and death.
“How old was she? There wasn’t a date of birth on this stone,” I comment bluntly, not wanting to intrude in private matters of death. I knew I wouldn’t like private questions about my beloved.
“Give or take, around the same age as us, maybe older, maybe younger. She never kept exact track. Didn’t want to.” He has a nostalgic look on his face, the one I imagine on my own, staring at her photo. “That picture’s pretty inaccurate. She never really smiled like that. She was a pretty pessimistic person. But we wouldn’t have been able to do anything without her either.”
Then I notice the name on the gravestone, not Haibara as he says, but Miyano Shiho, and I wonder if he is mistaken. “It says her name is Miyano. Miyano Shiho.”
“Guess I forget too,” he chuckles, never taking his eyes off of the photo, perfect and without a scratch. “I always called her Haibara, Haibara Ai. Just a nickname.”
“I didn’t get to know her that well until just a few months ago,” commented Ran, violet irises filled with regret. “It wasn’t until she left that I realized she was so important.” The look in Shinichi’s azure orbs signaled she had said too much, and she immediately hushed up, moving on to a lighter, happier subject. “How do you think you did on your finals today, Aoko-chan? It’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“I think I did well. Usually I don’t have enough time to come and visit Kaito, but since I finished the test early, I was able to say hi. How was yours?”
“I could remember everything! Shinichi helped me study, but I already knew most of the stuff. Contrary to this deduction baka’s beliefs.” She cast him a playful smirk, and he started retaliating defensively.
“Who said I was a deduction idiot?” he asked, a teasing tone in his voice. “Besides, you asked me to help you.”
“So what?”
“So nothing.” I backed away and shrouded my eyes with my hand, not wanting to intrude their private moment. I could hear the silent cries of love and affection as they kissed, completely unaware of me standing here, wishing I was them. Wishing on a fallen star.
I wish Kaito could have lived. I wish that I could be in love. I wish that somebody would just remember me, not just as a grief-stricken girl, not just a friend who needs help. I want somebody like Kaito, somebody who could cheer me up without trying, somebody who always knew what to do for me, somebody who could make me laugh no matter what.
It’s no wonder that buried inside of me that I feel the need to kill the one who murdered him, but that would be harsh. I don’t think Kaito would want me to go that far. He was always a supporter of living, no matter what the crime.
I hear police sirens, and see the black and white streak by, like a running zebra. And up in the sky, a white hang glider. It’s the Kid.
*Yes, Haibara is dead. Tragic, right? (it was half-planned, and half 'I needed a reason for Shinichi and Ran to be there'. How's the cliffhanger? Is this story even worth continuing? Tell me please!~Aeyra*