Dear anon,
Who are you and what have you done to my closest friend in the world?
Signed, me.
Dear anon,
You have to try harder to pretend you're not annoyed with me. Believe me, I know if a person is interested or not in a conversation and please stop trying to pretend since it pains me more seeing you fake it.
Signed, me.
Dear anon,
IF YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO SPREAD YOUR SECRET THEN YOU MIGHT WANNA KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT ABOUT MY SECRET.
Signed, me.