Forever Lost

Random +1 O.o;;

AN: So.. here's the deal. If you're bored (or, of course, if you're interested) read this chapter. This is the first chapter in a currently five-chapter (on-going) story. If you like it and would like to read more, please open the "spoiler" box for details. Also, keep in mind, this is a re-upload from 2-3 years ago if I recall correctly so my writing might be a little different and possibly worse (or better??) than normal. Chapter 1 – Nothing Like Coffee A loud sound woke me, and I opened my eyes half way, knowing that I must stop the loud sound. It was bothersome, it was annoying, it hurt to listen to it. Must. Shut. It. Up. I reached over and smacked the device, causing it to cease its redundant beeping. I sat up, stepping into a pair of slippers that were on the floor. I felt the need to grab something to drink, my mind groggy and my throat a bit dry. "Coffee" is what came to my mind, and I shuffled over to a door. I walked out of the door, my still-sleeping mind deciding that up the stairs was the way to go. There I saw the thing my mind said I needed, a cup of coffee, just sitting there, steam rising from it. I felt a smile pull at my features, but something demanded that I not, so I just went over to the cup. I was transfixed on that cup, with the steam dancing above it, and I grabbed the handle. I put my lips to the cup, drinking in burning hot liquid. "…A…i-kun?" I put the cup down and looked over. I blinked a few times. And here was when I realized something. I didn't know who had spoken. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know why I was here. I didn't know… who I was. What was my objective? Questions raced through my mind as I stared at the old man sitting there. He kept looking at me as if he expected a reply. So I assumed I must be Ai-kun. Some voice told me not to confide in people, to simply agree that I was indeed Ai-kun. "Sorry… was that yours?" The old man nodded slowly, looking at me incredulously. "Oh… ahaha… I'm just so sleepy I didn't notice…" I shrugged and walked back the way I came, looking for the shower. Surely I would need to be taking one, that's what the voice told me. After a few minutes, I located the bathroom and took a shower. I was busy putting clothes on when I heard a knock on the door. "Ai-kun… I… just wanted to let you know that if you don't hurry, you'll be late to school. Do you have everything ready?" Something told me to not be a bother, so I said that I did. "Y-Yeah… thanks for telling me." I had a feeling the man wanted to say more, so I waited. I was right. "Ai-kun… are you feeling alright today?" Was I seeming less cheerful than normal? Now two opposing forces caught me. One said to just sound bored, the other was on the side of logic for a child like me, and told me to be more cheerful. "Yeah, I'm fine, grandpa!" There was an awkward feeling as silence hung around me. I must have been wrong in my assumption that he was my grandfather. Then just who was he? Wasn't he a little old to be my dad? I began laughing. "Hahaha got you!" Some part of me shuddered at my own attitude and voice, making me wonder if I should've listened to the voice that told me to sound bored. He forced some sort of chuckle on the other side of the door, and I heard his footsteps retreat. I finished getting ready and raced out the door, grabbing a bag I figured was mine, since it looked like an elementary backpack. I stopped, suddenly realizing that even if I did leave for school, I had no idea where it was. I looked both ways, and hoped that the way I went would at least lead me into town. I walked for maybe ten minutes before I ran into another child, who looked like a student. "Haibara… aren't you a bit late today? And why are you coming from that direction?" Who? Wasn't I Ai-kun? I took a step back. "Can… I walk with you today?" The boy gave me a weird look, but he shrugged, and I walked next to him. His face held a serious expression. I stayed silent, I didn't even know his name. In fact… I still wasn't sure about my own name. Two other children joined up with us; a girl and a tall thin boy. They were talking on and on about something that was supposed to happen in class today. I had no idea what exactly it was about, but I listened intently for their names and the way they addressed each other. "Haibara-san, did you finish your homework?" I turned, reacting to the name I had been called by earlier. Before I could think of a response, the girl protectively intervened. "Of course Ai-chan did! She's really smart, just like Conan-kun!" I noticed the tall boy glare at the short one with the strange wristwatch. I guessed that must be "Conan-kun." I half-smiled, not agreeing or disagreeing. I only hoped that I had done my homework, and that it was in the backpack I was carrying. If I still didn't have my memory by the time I went to school, I'd rather not deal with the teacher's anger. "Haibara-san, not that it's a bad thing, but why are you walking with us today? Doesn't it take longer to go this way?" The speaker was the tall kid, his face showing his confusion. I decided to shrug as an answer. I found out earlier how much talking could put me in awkward situations. Unfortunately, the shrug didn't satisfy the tall boy, but he thankfully stayed silent, although his expression was still the same. We reached the gates of an elementary school, along with many other children. One of which ran towards us. "Morning!" I watched as a rather chunky boy came closer, rice from breakfast still sticking on his mouth. I also noticed the short boy "Conan-kun" cringe. The little girl was the first to greet back. "Moh, Genta-kun! You have rice on your mouth still!" The chunky boy wiped his mouth with his hand and ate the rice. A big grin spread across his face. "Thanks, Ayumi!" I sighed inwardly. I guessed that this was a typical pig-out kid, who happens to go by the name of "Genta-kun." I followed the short boy when he decided to make his way to class instead of listening to the early morning antics. I then noticed him watching me out of the corner of his eye. "Something wrong?" Again, I smiled. He on the other hand, frowned. "Haibara… did something unusually good happen this morning? You're over-cheery…" So I was a strange child… who didn't like to smile? I returned with blank look, not sure to laugh or to glare. "Not particularly…" I didn't want to go into detail, which seemed to be my nature, because the boy just gave me another weird look and shrugged it off. I followed him inside the classroom, and suddenly froze. I didn't know where to sit. I took a chance and sat by the short boy, since he seemed like a good person to follow. He didn't say anything, so I supposed that it wasn't anyone else's seat. While I waited for class to start, I began to ponder things. My name is Haibara Ai. I'm an elementary student. I live with an old man, but he's not my grandpa, and he seems too old to be my dad. Butler? Usually butlers are thin and tall though… housekeeper? Usually a woman though… I'll find that part out later. I have no idea who my parents are or where they are. I seem to be a very bland child, who takes no interest in things, and I don't normally smile or laugh. Perhaps my parents being gone has made me a pitiful child who keeps the fear of being happy deep inside her. The worst part is, I don't even know if that is true. Even though I am her, I don't remember anything.

Bourbon Uehara Sonoko Inspector Megure Nanatsu no ko Eri Sera Subaru Next word: networking

It says that join requests are closed at this time, so invite me in if you can, please. My dA user is HaibaraDaiFan.

Dear Anonymous, I thought this was already cleared up >.> But yes her=me and me=her. Strange, no? Sincerely, Me/Her

If you want mod help on deviant art then I can help, if you want. I have plenty of experience with moderating so (2+ yrs? officially, that is >.>') XD But I'm not sure if you were referring to the actual mods here to help you or if you'd need some.. 'cause I don't know if the actual mods here have time to mod deviant art and this place..

Dear Anonymous, I had a dream last night that I rather don't like. It's not terrible, like the ones that used to grip me and cause me to wake up in a panic. But it still lasted long enough to cause me to doubt reality. You won't disappear from me, will you? You won't run away, right? Please, mean the words you've been saying. I can't imagine my dream being reality. I'd rather die. Sincerely, Me.

Could be... That's definitely something that would be plausible. The only thing is what Sherry's mom said in the recording makes me suspicious as to whether or not they're really dead.. But then again, shoot me if we've already decided with complete and conclusive evidence that they did die >.>''

Well, the research might have good standing

Dear Person Who Understood My Words, It's a scary thing to understand almost every word I wrote at that time. I can understand how you feel, but if you'll allow me to, I'd like to give you some advice. This is only because I've been there and I'm here now. If you don't want to take it, that's totally fine and I understand. If you do, that's great as well. If you don't want any advice, just skip over the stuff contained in the spoiler box thingy XD I hope that everything gets better for you.

Dear Not-Too-Anonymous, For some reason your anonymous letter reminds me of something... I wonder if you watched a video that a friend of mine made if it would apply even a little to how you feel or maybe even felt up until now? If you feel like doing a youtube search, I'll give you the search criteria here: Random Person Who Read Your Letter, Me

Dear Anonymous, You know.. when I say I'm antisocial.. I'm trying to tell you to leave me alone. Not to bombard me with more annoying and meaningless words. I never asked you to trust me. I never asked you to share your life story with me. I never asked anything like that, so why do you make it your mission to act as though I'm your great almighty secret holder?! I don't want to be bothered with it! I like helping people with their problems because I know they need help. I don't like solving every teensy little issue you have in life because you won't use your brain to figure it out. Don't pretend you have me figured out. Don't pretend like you and I are best buddies. I don't know how much more I can do to make it clear. Sincerely, Me.

Dear Anonymous, Why aren't there any jobs out here?! I can't understand how a bunch of jerks who can't do their jobs because they're too lazy can get and keep jobs somehow but someone who is completely and totally willing to work above and beyond what's necessary cannot find a place to work! Someone call me and offer me a job! And you, certain employer that didn't call me after I called a bazillion times, YOU suck. >3> Sincerely, Me :3

@The Banana Assassin: We all make our own choices. If God wanted to make everything so He would rule over with a big stick and hit everyone over the head for doing something out of line, then there's no way we'd be here as it is. Plus, if He made everything go His way and controlled all that stuff, we wouldn't be able to make our own decisions. Cultures change over time due to the choices the people make and others follow along.

Dear Anonymous, You call others ignorant simply because you're so deceived. It really makes me laugh at how confused you are. I think you have your things mixed up. The devil created and fueled racism and every other thing you hate. But you think that he's so accepting? Hahahahahaha. Here's the thing, sweetie. If you're not following God's commands, you're following the devil's. That's the simple truth. God gives you grace. The devil comes and lies to you, steals from you, and ultimately seeks to kill you. You fall back on sin - which is obeying the devil. The reason not just anyone can come to God is because you have to love God - why else would you go to Heaven? It's really simple. You either love God, love mercy, and love justice and in so doing, turn from the darkness to the light and walk with God, or you love the devil, love sin, love lies, love yourself, and love wrongdoings and turn to the darkness and walk with the devil. You're so convinced that God is so mean, while all He has for you is good, while you're so convinced the devil is so nice that all he has for you is death and destruction. What lies you have listened to! So be a slave to sin. Enjoy it. When you're leading others down that path with you, with a proud look on your face, maybe you'll think when you realize that everything in your life is going wrong. Or maybe when you're depressed and you constantly think about suicide. Or maybe when you're more apt to hurt someone that to help them. Or maybe when you can only think about saving yourself. What will it take for you to realize that the path you're taking is going to eventually lead to your destruction? I wish you the best, and I hope that your wish to help and protect people prevails over your love for evil. Sincerely, A concerned citizen.

@kyyo hahaha when her arm was not bending it bothered me so.. Idk! XD and I used pixlr - which is like a slightly limited online kind of photoshop or whatnot @Anime Girl 4 Eva: Thanks