Rye 122 Report post Posted March 5, 2011 The summer sun shone brightly in the sky as the rental car Mouri Kogoro was driving dashed on the road. "Beach, swimming pools, spas," said Ran excitedly. "And so many ladies in bikinis!" exclaimed Kogoro. Ran pinched his ears. "Dad, behave yourself," scolded Ran. "Yes, yes," muttered Kogoro. At last they arrived the resort. A man picked up their luggage and led them to their room. Near their room, there was an emergency exit. Just then, Conan heard footsteps on the stairs. He peered inside but saw nobody. "Strange..." Conan mumbled. That afternoon.... "Conan-kun, hurry up, we are going to swim now," Ran said as she ran into the pool area. Conan ran after her, then bumped into a person. Turns out that person is.... Jodie Starling! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted March 5, 2011 Interesting, but it's more than a little bit short. Add more detail and I'm sure it'll become much, much better. 'kay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted March 5, 2011 Very interesting so far. Might help if it was a bit longer, Nice job! Jodie? Hm... I wonder! Update soon! Arigato~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hunter 2 Report post Posted March 5, 2011 Bit short. Somewhat unimpressive. (I'm just noting what I noticed). Hope you update soon. Consider my offer. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SSJBowser 13 Report post Posted March 5, 2011 Not a bad start, should be interesting to see where this goes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
