hopes 237 Report post Posted March 27, 2011 Alright... So I haven't been posting the chapters. If you guys want me to, I can post the whole story. I mean, I finished Part 1, which is 50 chapters. Part 2 has two chapters and it's on hiatus at the moment. If you want more, please tell me! Hope you enjoy! “Ah, that was so much fun~” I sighed happily. The shopping trip was a success. They had shopped until they dropped. Sonoko had paid for everything. I guess that’s the luxury of being rich. The Detective Boys had gone and looked at Kamen Yaiba stuff. Ai had stayed with us teenage girls though. Sonoko found out that I had a pretty good taste in clothing. “At least she has better taste that you, Ran.” Sonoko had snickered. Ran blushed, and I smiled. We went around to every store. I saw a shirt that said “I eat sarcasm for breakfast.” I said Ai should get it, and I received a glare that could’ve murdered me 300 times. Ran and Sonoko both got a few things. Hitomi ended up getting a new outfit, because we forced her to. Maybe it’ll help boost her self-confidence. Ran, Conan, and I finally got home at seven o’ clock. Kogoro, unfortunately, had been starving and demanded for dinner. Ran agreed and I offered to help. We made a curry that was pretty good. I’m proud, because I suck at cooking. Ran is one heck of a teacher. After dinner, I did my homework. It was surprisingly easy, compared to my old stuff in America. I finished it in no time. After that, I called Conan over for a little meeting. “Hey.” I said quietly. “I think we should call your mom and dad to tell them about this in case they suddenly decide to pop up.” Conan nodded in agreement. When we explained the situation, Yukiko was thrilled. “Yes!” she squealed. “I’ll finally have the daughter I always wanted~” Conan’s expression was priceless. “I guess I wasn’t good enough for her.” He grumbled. I giggled. Yuusaku was very calm about it. “I see, though I wonder how she got here.” “You’re not the only one.” I muttered. After that, we hung up. “Have you noticed?” I asked quietly. “You mean that we’re being spied on?” I nodded. “Yeah, I’ve noticed. It’s got to be the Organization.” I sighed. “Well, we have to be extremely careful now. Geez.” “Well, keep an eye out.” “That reminds me. There’s a girl in my class and she seems pretty suspicious. She has blonde hair, ice-cold blue eyes, and she’s always sneering. Her name is Kuroki Aimi.” Conan thought for a moment. “It might just be her, but she could be a member. Watch her, just in case.” “Will do.” “See you tomorrow.” It was a great Wednesday. I woke up feeling happy and excited. At least it was the middle of the school week and not the beginning again. I quickly got dressed in my new school uniform. It was cute; I’ve got to admit. I just wasn’t used to them. I went into the kitchen and helped Ran in the kitchen. It was fun making Japanese style food. I could tell Ran liked having company. I couldn’t blame her; she lives with two males. After breakfast, Ran, Conan and I walked to school again. I stretched. “Ah~ isn’t it a fantastic day?” I asked. “Yup!” Conan smiled at me. Again, we dropped off Conan and I said bye to Ran after. I walked into room 1A and sat down at my seat. Hitomi was already there reading a book. “Hey, Hitomi-chan. What are you reading?” Hitomi looked up from her book. “It’s Sherlock Holmes. He’s my favorite detective!” I smiled. “Really? Same with me. But, have you ever read Arsène Lupin? I like him as well.” Hitomi looked a little confused. “The gentleman thief?” I nodded. “Yup! Even though I like detectives, gentlemen thieves are also pretty cool!” Hitomi smiled slyly. “So, who do like better then? The famous Detective of the East Kudo Shinichi, or Kaitou Kid?” I laughed. “Well, that’s a pretty hard choice there. I can’t really say, Shinichi-niichan always finds the truth, while Kid has clever tricks up his sleeves. I guess they’re tied for me.” Hitomi loked shocked and was about to say something when someone interrupted her. “Really?” I looked up from my desk to see Kuroki Aimi smirking down at me. “I thought you would have chosen the detective hands down,” she continued. “Since, well, he’s your relative after all.” Hitomi gasped. “Kudo Shinichi’s your relative?” “Yup! He’s my cousin. He’s really great to be around.” I smiled outside, but inside I worried. How did Aimi know that? Not many people know that Conan is ‘related’. Suspicious is written all over her face. “So, who do like then?” I asked Aimi. “Detective or thief?” Does she ever stop smirking? “Neither. I’d prefer, hm… Assassin. A person sneaky and clothed in black.” I stiffened. “Kuroki-chan, that’s creepy.” Hitomi shivered. “Ah, maybe. But shouldn’t we see a perspective in everyone’s view?” “I guess so… But still creepy.” Hitomi said. “Well, I’m sure Miyuki-chan agrees. Right?” Aimi lowered her head next to my ear. “I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” She whispered so that only I could hear. I was frozen. “S-sure.” I managed to get out. Thankfully, Kondo-sensei started the class at that moment. Though I went through the day appearing happy and cheerful, on the inside I kept thinking about what Aimi had said. This is not good. Again, I hope this was okay. I also AGAIN combined two chapters together. It makes me wonder why I wrote such short chapters. Hm... Anyway, I would love feedback! Arigato~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted March 28, 2011 its not gonna be aimi who's the bad one, its gonna be hitomi, just you wait and see!!! wait.. you already know XD anyways, its goin pretty good... oh yeah, and were you going to like make it a conai in the end or shinran? depending on which may determine how interested i stay.. and yes, post more, more more, but do so in less... like since some of your chapters are short, combine the short chapters with the one after or before... that way there aren't too many new threads, and we don't have to go to each one.. or you could put a link to the rest of the chapters, so that you don't have to repost it here... but yes, i would like to continue reading aaaaaall of part 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted March 28, 2011 its not gonna be aimi who's the bad one, its gonna be hitomi, just you wait and see!!! wait.. you already know XD anyways, its goin pretty good... oh yeah, and were you going to like make it a conai in the end or shinran? depending on which may determine how interested i stay.. and yes, post more, more more, but do so in less... like since some of your chapters are short, combine the short chapters with the one after or before... that way there aren't too many new threads, and we don't have to go to each one.. or you could put a link to the rest of the chapters, so that you don't have to repost it here... but yes, i would like to continue reading aaaaaall of part 1 I'm not quite sure... Well, I will EVENTUALLY post all of them... Actually, I plannes SagAi. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!! Please keep reading as well! Thanks... Sorry. DX Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted March 28, 2011 Just a comment that I've been thinking for a long time... Aimi sounds a lot like Amy (my real name....)... It makes me feel evil... (I probably am for killing most of the DC characters at least once, but still....) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted March 28, 2011 Just a comment that I've been thinking for a long time... Aimi sounds a lot like Amy (my real name....)... It makes me feel evil... (I probably am for killing most of the DC characters at least once, but still....) Wow. It does. Whoops. HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! I find that ridiculously funny. XD Sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted March 29, 2011 Wow. It does. Whoops. HEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! I find that ridiculously funny. XD Sorry. It's okay... Is Aimi a real Japanese name though? Haven't seen it before....(but of course, I haven't seen many Japanese names...) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted March 29, 2011 Question, do you have a beta? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted March 30, 2011 It's okay... Is Aimi a real Japanese name though? Haven't seen it before....(but of course, I haven't seen many Japanese names...) Yes, it is actually... Well, the website I went to had it on there, so... Identity Unknown: And no, I don't have a Beta Reader. I don't care too much for them... Sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted March 30, 2011 Yes, it is actually... Well, the website I went to had it on there, so... Identity Unknown: And no, I don't have a Beta Reader. I don't care too much for them... Sorry. Before I got my beta, I didn't really care much for them either. But once LostintheDreams started looking over stuff, I swear my writing has become so much better. *compares chapter 30 to current chapter* Definitely better. A beta (a good one) does more than edit, they give helpful advice that become essential to me. For example, my beta has been able to find things I haven't in my research about medical topics such as *cough* gun wounds and memory loss to make it more realistic. I'd suggest getting on, they make everything so much better. I'd be willing to beta for you if you want to try it. I already beta for Moho-kun. PM me if you're interested. If not, then feel free to ignore this comment! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted March 30, 2011 I can beta. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted March 31, 2011 Yes, it is actually... Well, the website I went to had it on there, so... Identity Unknown: And no, I don't have a Beta Reader. I don't care too much for them... Sorry. I have one. She's really hard on me but she's so amazing at editing it...she notices so many things that nobody else does... Before I got my beta, I didn't really care much for them either. But once LostintheDreams started looking over stuff, I swear my writing has become so much better. *compares chapter 30 to current chapter* Definitely better. A beta (a good one) does more than edit, they give helpful advice that become essential to me. For example, my beta has been able to find things I haven't in my research about medical topics such as *cough* gun wounds and memory loss to make it more realistic. I'd suggest getting on, they make everything so much better. I'd be willing to beta for you if you want to try it. I already beta for Moho-kun. PM me if you're interested. If not, then feel free to ignore this comment! OMG, you beta for Mohorovicic? *gapes* Betas are awesome, they're absolutely amazing. My beta points out holes in my plots, when my characters are out of character, etc. I can beta. Really? I thought that you only rated them on your very large scale. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted March 31, 2011 I normally critique stories, but I beta. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted April 1, 2011 Oh... Alright. But... Eh, I dunno... I'm just being weird. I just don't like to be restricted by stuff... Oh!! Do I sound like Eisuke? XD 'Cuz that's what he said... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted April 1, 2011 Oh... Alright. But... Eh, I dunno... I'm just being weird. I just don't like to be restricted by stuff... Oh!! Do I sound like Eisuke? XD 'Cuz that's what he said... My beta's not restrictive at all. I write it, send it to her, and she gives it back proofread and some tips that I can use, not that I have to. She also fixes plot holes.... (there was this one time where I.... never mind, but she fixed it) Beta's are editors. Not idea thinkers, but checkers. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted April 1, 2011 Aeyra's a decent beta-reader. She helps me improve MY stories cause I normally write stories when I'm half-awake, half-dead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted April 2, 2011 Aeyra's a decent beta-reader. She helps me improve MY stories cause I normally write stories when I'm half-awake, half-dead. Thanks, but it helps if you write stories when you're awake and not dead you know. The HeiShin fic I'm currently working on is me writing after ten under my covers on my iTouch, so I guess I have no right to speech you, but it's over 5000 words no, so I'm really wondering whether or not it should still be a one-shot.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted April 2, 2011 Yeah... I dunno though... That's just me. It all depends, I guess. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted April 5, 2011 I suggest you get a beta. Aeyra seems to be a pretty popular choice... When are you going to update your story? It's been weeks! *insert puppy eyes here* I'm being a hypocrite. I haven't updated my story in weeks either. Man, Kittychan H is going to kill me.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hejle 20 Report post Posted May 12, 2011 I hatet to ask, but where does i find the next chapter.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted May 12, 2011 I hatet to ask, but where does i find the next chapter.... Her story is on FF.net under penname chelseaj500. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cindy-Chen 82 Report post Posted October 30, 2011 Wow! Nice! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AokoNakamori 24 Report post Posted November 1, 2011 yeah now update. it's been forever -.-+ *follows this story on FF.net* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted November 1, 2011 Aw, really~? ^^ Thanks guys!! Working on the next chapter... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
