hopes 237 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 Please tell me what you think of this... I'm writing this letter to the owner of the place where my iPod was stolen... Dear Sir, My name is Chelsea ________. I’m fourteen, and I’m writing to tell you that my iPod Touch was stolen at the ________________. This iPod was two hundred dollars by itself, but also had a case and earphones with it. I worked for over a year to save up money to buy it. It was my dream to get an iPod Touch. I managed to earn enough money and buy it. On June 22nd, I was getting a haircut and my hair highlighted while my mother was getting a haircut. At first, I put my iPod right in front of me on the counter. Later, it was moved by one of the hair dressers to prevent bleach from getting on it. I looked over to make sure where it was. When my hair was almost finished, I asked my mother if she had it because I didn’t see it in the spot it was before. She hadn’t seen it, and we began to search for it. There was a teacher and two students with us at that time. Most of the students had left already. While I was getting my hair highlighted, there was only my mother and I right next to each other with a few students attending to my hair. There were no customers near us. There wasn’t time for somebody to steal it unless they were one of the people working on my hair. My mother was reading a magazine and I was reading a book. We were both distracted. Apparently, my hair dresser didn’t see my iPod where I set it down and the person who moved it was somebody who offered to help with my hair to make the process go faster. There’s only a few reasons I can think of what happened: One, my iPod was thrown away when the girls were cleaning up. Two, my iPod was stolen by a customer, which I highly doubt as there were none near us. Three, my iPod was stolen by one of the students in your school. When my mother and I told the teacher and the two students remaining, the teacher told us that this rarely happens. More often during the day, but almost never at night. The students said they were sorry it happened to me and they’ve had problems with stealing before. However, their expressions said ‘here we go again’. The teacher also told us that there were security cameras everywhere. She asked us for our phone number and a description of my iPod. She said in the morning she’d ask if anyone could work the video cameras as the person who usually watches them is on vacation until July 5th. In the morning, the teacher called. She asked my mother if we had found the iPod. My mother replied ‘no’. Then the teacher informed her that the cameras had apparently not recorded the previous night. It seems strange that the same night the cameras don’t work, my iPod was stolen. I was hoping that you could possibly replace this iPod. I worked very hard to save up for it, and earned it. Now, I have to do it all over again and it doesn’t seem fair. My iPod had a password on it as well, so the culprit wouldn’t even be able to use it. I also hope that your security cameras will work in the future for customers’ sakes. I can be contacted at the number of ______________. Thank you. Sincerely, Chelsea ________ I blanked out some stuff... Please tell me!! Was it okay?? I don't want to save up for another year... 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misaki-chan 164 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 This is a good letter. I agree with you, the store should replace your stolen item, though they may say it was your fault for bringing it in the first place. You may want to say "Sir/Ma'am" unless you are sure of the gender of the owner. Also, they may just agree to pay for the iPod but not for the accessories. I like how you addressed the three scenarios of what could have happened. Besides that, all in all this is a good letter. I hope the owner will agree to your demands and give you a new iPod. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 I think it's good. I had my iTouch stolen at one point too. At the Georgia International Airport. And our iPad, and a bunch of books, and two pairs of Oakley sunglasses, and etc. I wish I'd thought about writing a letter, but somehow I doubt that would have worked. It's the busiest airport in the US, people lose stuff all the time. When did you lose the iTouch? Another thing- immediately change all of your passwords on every site that your iPod's connected to. You don't want someone hacking into all of your accounts. Even passwords can be broken if you bring the thing to the right people. There's software and everything that could do it. I hope that shopowner (or school, I'm kind of confused) will pay you back for it. Not to get your hopes down or anything, but unless you get concrete proof that it's the owner's/business's fault that your iPod was stolen, it's highly unlikely he'll give you a new one. I don't think your parents are quite in the mood to sue either. However, I do wish you luck. I hope it goes well. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 Okay, thanks guys. It is DEFINITELY a guy. And it's called a hair school... Sorry about that, Aya-chan... I dunno. I kinda doubt it, but my mom's friend knows him and says he's a really nice guy and he's probably not aware that it happened. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cammy3131 20 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 *huddles own itouch in a death grip* It sounds great, but now it makes me think how easily they can be taken away T____T I really hope you find it DX It seems like a very suspicious way to lose an Ipod... *glances around suspiciously* It just doesn't seem logical to lose it in such a short period of time like that or... if you were getting your hair highlighted then that would be about a 2 hour process.. Did anyone come in? I don't know... Just trying to help. *claps hands together and rings shrine bells* OH GREAT AND POWERFUL KAMI-SAMA! PLEASE LET CHELSEA FIND HER I-POD!!!! ONIGAISHIMASU~!!! >.< Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 No, my hair took over 5 hours... -.-;; Thanks Cam-chan, I appreciate it... But I REALLY don't think I'm gonna find it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cammy3131 20 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 DON'T STOP BELIEVING~!!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phantomlady1101 59 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 O.0... so mysterious... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metantei Kiddo 147 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 ?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lia. 45 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 Good letter, Chelsea. Though I do think that it would have to be more formal to make it to the owner of the hairdressing shop. *grabs new cell phone and iPod Nano* I would be pretty upset too if my stuff were stolen. It took forever to save up for my iPod, too Don't stop looking for it. Maybe it was moved somewhere else in the store. Maybe, away from where you had your hair colored and away from where they put it, but still somewhere in the store. Don't stop looking for it. and if you are absolutely sure that someone stole it, you can file a police report. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Metantei Kiddo 147 Report post Posted June 26, 2011 Im too bored to read Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phantomlady1101 59 Report post Posted June 27, 2011 Im too bored to read I think is too lazy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kodou Shinichi 1 Report post Posted July 4, 2011 I think I am just TOO LATE with my comment now anyway you may as well keep my notice for future written letters: basically the letter is great!! But, 1st the manager you're sending to, is a busy man and I dont think he is interstend in how you got your Ipod and how much money you saved for it, it would be better if you address your problem and the possible solution in your opinion to him before he gets bored of the unnesseciary info. in his point of view 2nd: when you send a formal letter, you end it with "yours faithfully" and not "Sincerely" I am sorry if I'm too harsh with my comments but this is what I've been taught earlier about writing letters, I do send alot of letters and I made such mistakes and got warned about them, just didnt wanna see someone makin same mistakes as mine Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IdentityUnknown 216 Report post Posted July 5, 2011 I agree with Kodou Shinichi except for the ending...I think saying "Sincerely" is fine, "Yours Faithfully" makes you sound a bit like a dollower... At any rate, good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted July 5, 2011 I really cannot help you with these kind of things. One thing I can suggest is not to be stressed. It is antagonistic to clear thinking. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kodou Shinichi 1 Report post Posted July 5, 2011 I agree with Kodou Shinichi except for the ending...I think saying "Sincerely" is fine, "Yours Faithfully" makes you sound a bit like a dollower... At any rate, good luck! Thank you IU. but the reason why I say it must be faithfully, is scincerely is said for friends and its like saying yours "truely" I don't see it suitable for a formal letter, But anyway I hope she got her Ipod back, or has been rewarded for its loss..that's more important Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JamieDC102 4 Report post Posted July 6, 2011 My Iphone was stolen at my school we kept looking and looking and after calling several people and making a huge freakin deal of everything we found it. The point of this don't give up the letter was great and I hope you find it or are given a new one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted July 7, 2011 Well, the letter was sent yesterday... And this guy is VERY nice. So.... I kinda have my hopes up... *sigh* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites