The Christmas of Hope

[Cindy-Chen 82]

*Mouri Tantei Agency*

“It looks great, doesn’t it? Ne, Conan-kun?”

“Mmm! It looks amazing!”

“I wish otou-san was here to help us decorate the tree…” Ran sighed.

“Ran-neechan, oji-san already went to the bar! He’s probably drunk now!”

Ran said nothing, only thinking of another way to get her parents back together for Christmas. A family dinner? No okaa-san probably wouldn’t come. A big party, perhaps? Hmm…yes, that would be good, then, my parents would realize how happy they are together! Ran sat back, savoring the idea.

“A-ano…Ran-neechan?” Conan asked. “Do you want me to bring the ornaments?”

“H-huh? Oh, arigatou, Conan-kun.” Ran said, still daydreaming.

I have to disguise the party idea, so okaa-san and otou-san wouldn’t know I’m trying to get back togeth-

The door opened and closed. Conan walked in, with several boxes of ornaments stacked high above his face. Ran had to suppress her laughter.

“Do you need some help, Conan-kun?”

“Iie, I’m fine, oh wait now I need –“

The ornaments all toppled off of Conan’s small hands as he tried to catch the ornaments. He successfully caught one, and Ran caught two, but the rest fell to the ground, shattering.

“G-gomen, Ran-neechan.”

“It’s okay, Conan-kun, now let’s hope none of the ornaments are shattered….”

“Nope, all clear! Let’s hang them up!”

As Conan started to hang up the ornaments with Ran, he noticed her eyes had welled up with tears. Alarmed, Conan asked “What’s wrong, Ran-neechan?”

“Oh, gomen Conan-kun. I was just thinking about the Christmas’ Shinichi and I used to spend together…” She trailed off.

Conan tried to comfort her, but couldn’t say anything. Ran turned to look at Conan. “Do you think he has forgotten me?” Her eyes filled with more tears.

Conan panicked, and this time, he found himself. “I think Shinichi-niichan is too afraid to speak out his true feelings about you, but no. Shinichi-niichan has not forgotten you. He thinks about you everyday and always keeps you in his heart.” Conan was overwhelmed by the truth in his words.

Ran raised up and dried her tears and gave Conan a small smile. “Arigatou, Conan-kun.”

*clock strikes 11*

“Nani?! Conan-kun! It’s way past your bedtime!” Ran reprimanded with some of her old fire back.

“D-demo…” Conan protested.

Conan lost the battle, and he grudgingly went to bed.

“Oyasumi, Conan-kun.”

“Oyasumi.”

Before Ran could close the door to hide her face, Conan thought he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Onegai, Haibara. Onegai!” Conan begged.

“Gomen, Kudo-kun, the antidote can’t be rushed, or else it won’t work.” Haibara replied with her usual voice of devoid feeling.

“Onegai, Haibara! Ran was in tears yesterday!”

“I’m sorry, Kudo-kun.” Her voice softening. “But you should know I’m trying the best I can. You cannot rush time.”

“B-but!”

“I-I understand.” He said slowly. The glare of his glasses prevented Haibara from seeing his blue eyes clouded with sadness. She tried to find words to confort him, but could find none. He slowly walks away.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, even though she knew he couldn’t hear her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yay! Read and grade it! Don't hesitate to tell me if it's bad. PLEASE! But anyways, hope you enjoy!

[Mia Ehru 11]

I love those kind of touching scenes.. and the truth is I enjoyed reading it it's simple, cute and moving..

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Thank you! But I have to write faster now.

[anniemay 2]

It's good!

Are there any other parts?

If not you should add to it!

[Valkyrie 72]

I like it!! It's well written! +1 for you!

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Arigatou, minna-san! I'll keep writing. Thank you for the support!

[AokoNakamori 24]

it's good. suprisingly. CONTINUE!! XDD and make it good with a great plot

[IdentityUnknown 216]

It's sweet, that I'll give it.

What it's lacking right now is a whole lot more description. The story ended too quickly and too soon. You need to input more emotion, not just the occasional "glimmer of tears" or stuff like that. Dialogue is very important in a story, it's something I use a lot, but without description, it's useless.

Another comment I had is it is a little OOC for Ran to pour out her emotions so easily. She's the type who would hide it and smile. If you had this development later on in the story, it would work.

Third, at the beginning you said *Mouri Tantei Agency*. This, in writing, is generally discouraged. Try to fit that in with a describing sentence.

I also suggest you have a better introductory sentence to catch our attention. Other than that, good job!

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Thank you Jeans! I'll keep that in mind!

[Wildheart888 170]

I love it~!! x) It's great! Awesome~! x) But yeah, I kind of agree with what IU-chan said...^^"

And also, I think it was a typo/accident or something buut....

The glare of his glasses prevented Haibara from seeing his blue eyes clouded with sadness. She tried to find words to confort him, but could find none. He slowly walks away.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, even though she knew he couldn’t hear her.

You...changed the tense here...>_< Sorry! Just pointing it out!

Anyways, +1~!! x) Keep it up! I wanna hear moore~! >xDD xP

[Remy 2]

I enjoyed each word in this well written story. while I was reading, I was imagining each scene. there is a great writer inside you , do not forget to care about her. thank you.

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Thank you Wild-chan and Remy-kun!

[BK201 31]

<333333333 +1

it is well written! I kinda agree with IU though. ^^' Heed her words and you will surely improve. And doN't be like me that just leaves her stories hanging...

Thank You and Merry Christmas! \o/

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Merry Christmas to you too BK-kun!