anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 21, 2014 Actually its a story written by me and a group of friends just for fun, its on wattpad. Here is the link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/18611948-journey-of-a-journal Its called ( journey of a journal) It has nothing to do with DC or MK but I wanted to know your opinion guys..... Please tell me what do you think? (P.s. I would like to add any wattpaders ) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I read your story! It was interesting how the journal was the one moving around, not the person, and I enjoyed the unique names Here is some feedback/advice: -punctuation/capitalization/mechanics: it's really important to keep up with the punctuation and capitalization -- I got lost at times because they weren't consistent. -characters: there are some really interesting characters, but the personality and tone of each aren't really showing through. Like, Chick and Chicken sounded too similar in the journals, and they didn't seem much different character-wise. -plot: new character is being introduced in every chapter -- it's fine considering the journal is doing a lot of moving around, but I think it got a little bit chaotic trying to register all the characters in my head. Maybe you could try having several chapters for each character or put more contents relating to the storyline in each chapter. Overall, interesting story, and keep working on it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Thanks for the advice Regarding the punctuation ; I will edit it. About the characters ;I agree to what you said and I think its because chicken and chick are in reality (their creaters) are actually quite similar so I think it affected it in that way While for the plot I think I might introduce your idea to my friends and discuss it with them And thanks alot for your comment P.s. can you guess which character was me??? 8D Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 No problem! Glad to help I'm looking forward to reading more of the story -- tell me when there are more developments P.S. I seriously have no idea which character you were... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Ok no problem I will post the updates here And the character I wrote in stead was ........ AMAKA !!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I thought you would either be Amaka or Britney but I couldn't be sure... I guess my instinct wasn't that far off I'll pretend that I knew you were Amaka all along haha Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Hahahahhaha no problem since you got that close Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 *rewinding back to: Thanks for the adviceRegarding the punctuation ; I will edit it.About the characters ;I agree to what you said and I think its because chicken and chick are in reality (their creaters) are actually quite similar so I think it affected it in that wayWhile for the plot I think I might introduce your idea to my friends and discuss it with themAnd thanks alot for your commentP.s. can you guess which character was me??? 8D * pshhhh of course I knew which character you were! AMAKA, right? *shameless* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Hahahahah Yes amazing *claps* How did you know? *puzzled* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I would know your tone whenever, wherever! It was a piece of cake, you know -- if you want to confuse me, you'll need to try harder *majestic hair flip* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Ok you will see, next time I will win *determined look* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I would like to see you try -- hope you won't be too disappointed when I win *proud smirk* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 Never gonna happen I will keep trying And I hope you don't get too disappointed next time... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 haha lol i'll be looking forward to our next match are you writing any other stories? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 No hahahaha Im actually not good at writing and I just write this for fun as I said before and for it to sink as a great memory Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I am not terrible at writing but I always give up midway through a story Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 I run out of ideas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
knpce 19 Report post Posted August 23, 2014 The same dilemma for many writers *nods* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Moonlit Flower 12 Report post Posted September 2, 2014 lol. "YOLO (You Obviously Love Oreos)" Ah, that's just too great. xD! No, this is actually pretty good. It was a bit short, but good. (But the shortest stories are usually always the most interesting ones, ne? ^^) Me? I can't write even one sentence diddly squat without messing it up. I love to sing and play instruments though. (haha), but me writing stories, no. I tried once, and it was the worst thing I have ever written. (That, and I never finished it. Only wrote about one sentence and then left it sitting in my MP3 player for months after finally noticing it then deleting it.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted September 3, 2014 The YOLO was probably the best part, I agree Its still not completed, but its chapters are short... I don't know how to write and I don't like to do too, This story was a special case and it was easier because its just one chapter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A.Haibara 34 Report post Posted September 20, 2014 I just joined Wattpad (because I have a few stories in mind). How do I add you? My username's ayamehaibara (as usual). Sorry, I'm terrible with technology even though I can't live without it xD. And I checked out your story! I'd say it's going pretty well and basically repeat everything knpce said. Keep writing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted September 20, 2014 I just joined Wattpad (because I have a few stories in mind). How do I add you? My username's ayamehaibara (as usual). Sorry, I'm terrible with technology even though I can't live without it xD. And I checked out your story! I'd say it's going pretty well and basically repeat everything knpce said. Keep writing! Thanks Do you usually use it on mobile or on a pc? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A.Haibara 34 Report post Posted September 20, 2014 PC And I'm currently following you on Wattpad now Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anonymously anonymous 34 Report post Posted September 20, 2014 PC And I'm currently following you on Wattpad now Thank you. But Actually its not my own profile... its my friends' too...Anyway ... To create a new story you should click on your username (on the top right of the screen) And enter my works / my stories (im not sure of the name) and then you click new story If you want to edit a previously written story it will appear to you and for every chapter the edit button is next to it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
A.Haibara 34 Report post Posted September 21, 2014 Thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
