Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 sorry, i was too lazy to fix it up more and add spaces all over, good luck readin it please do not copy this, it's my own creation! ok well, the fanfic is my creation... sadly detective conan was not so i only claim to have written this ... anyways, please do enjoy this shinichi and shiho fanfic of the downfall of the org... and well the 'love' part between shinichi and shiho won't be happening for a few chapters so please bear with me here! Also, i finally made it so that my story has actual short chapters.. not those long ones like before sorry i don't think i'm going to continue my other conanxai story... i'm stuck for ideas no TT.TT After much planning with the FBI, it was finally time for the organization to be taken down. All the branches in different countries had already been removed and only the main branch in Japan was left. A month since the initial start of the war had passed and the headquarters had been located. In the professor’s house a small crowd of leading FBI members were stuck in the living room with the professor, detective of the west, Hattori Heiji, Conan, and Ai. While the preparations were going on, Ai pulled Conan aside and to the basement. “What is it Haibara?” asked Conan, completely oblivious of the way Ai was feeling at the moment. Ai was barely trembling, with a nauseating feeling in her stomach. She swallowed inaudibly. She was having a conflict inside herself, and in truth, it had been going on for about a week, since the time she finished the full antidote. She wasn’t sure whether to give it to Conan. She had realized since long before how much she liked the little detective, yet he was always talking about returning to Ran once he changed back. It hurt her deeply.~Tacticalwolf~ With trembling fingers and a calm voice, she rustled through her desk and pulled out a pill. She placed it into Conan’s hands, wrapping both of hers around his. “This is it Kudo-kun, the antidote. I finished it and thought that it’d be good to give it to you before the raid. You’ll need your body back to be of real use.” She smirked at his astonished expression, hiding her heartbrokenness underneath a cool and composed mask. He beamed a smile at her and took the pill happily. “Some spare clothes are on the couch, I’ll leave the room so that you can change back.” With that Ai left the room and leaned against the door. She heard Conan move around, preparing to take the pill. A lone tear rolled down her cheek and she leaned against the door and slid to the ground into a sitting position. Conan hurriedly consumed the pill with a smile on his face. As he felt it start to take effect, a sudden question popped into his mind, What about Haibara? That was the last thought he had before the pill rendered him unconscious. Ten minutes later he groaned and sat up. Sweating profusely, and skin still glistening from his perspiration during the change, he sluggishly fixed his clothes and hair. Then as if on cue, Ai walked in with her usual calm and composed mask, no trace of tears left. “Come, Kudo-kun, everyone will be excited to see you back to normal.” As she turned to head up the steps, Shinichi grabbed her wrist. She turned and quizzically looked at his hand. Her heart picked up the beat slightly but she kept her mask on. “What is it?” she asked with a sigh. “What about you? Aren’t you going to change back?” he asked with a confused expression. She swallowed slightly, preparing herself. “Sorry Kudo-kun, I think I’ll stay like this. My friends are here.” “But,” he trailed off. Ai looked straight into his eyes and he lost the ability to speak. With a sigh she continued, “I haven’t decided whether I’ll change back. For the raid I’ll take the 24 hour pill. Then when everything is over I’ll consider it.” Shinichi knew he couldn’t fight back, so he bit his tongue and held back his urges to continue talking to change her mind. He realized though that there was a good chance that if he did that, she would refuse to change back. It was her life. He hat to butt out. He no longer needed her by his side to create the antidote. As that thought struck him, he felt a bit hollow. She no longer had a reason to stay near him. She was no longer bound to him by guilt. If she felt like it, she could just up and leave, no longer with a guilty conscience. The thought scared him, yet he didn’t understand why. Slowly, as he was coming to these conclusions, he followed Ai back up the stairs and into the swarm of shocked people. With a smile he said to them, pushing his thoughts of Ai aside, “Hey, I’m back, for good.” People cheered and pat him on the back, and others congratulated Ai on her accomplishment. Everyone there knew who Conan and Ai really were, so it wasn’t a shock to see him in that form. At least, it wasn’t a huge shock. That’s when it finally dawned on everyone. They turned to Ai. “What about you?” they seemed to ask with their stares. She sighed and said, “Look, I don’t know if I even want to change back. I may stay a child to be with my friends. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better for me to change back, but nobody’s waiting for me in that form. My friends are ones I’ve made as Haibara Ai, not Miyano Shiho or Sherry.” Nobody said anything. After a while they went back to their plan. They had decided that the next day would be when they began the raid. The headquarters was in a heavily forested area, across from a beach with only a road to separate them. After planning for a few hours, everyone settled down for an unrestful sleep. When the morning rolled around, Ai was surprised to see that she was first to wake up. Every agent was fast asleep. She let a small smile play on her lips when she looked at Shinichi, and her eyes showed traces of sadness. “You love him,” whispered a voice. Ai spun around after pulling on her mask. “Akai,” she muttered. “Don’t try to deny it. Although nobody else knows, including Shinichi, you can’t hide it from me.” Ai sighed. “Just don’t tell anyone ok? I’m quite sure he is in love with Mouri still. I doubt I’ll ever change that. It’d be easiest for me and him if I just pushed theses feelings aside and stayed as I am. Besides, as soon as this is over, if I were Shiho nobody would want me. If my past was known my life would be over, but as Haibara Ai, my life is just beginning.” Akai nodded his head in understanding, and after that they stood there in silence. A bit later, Ai headed to the kitchen and began to cook the biggest breakfast she ever has. Akai joined her in silence, helping her prepare. They had finally come to be on neutral terms after meeting again. At first Ai highly protested against him, but now, now she wasn’t against him anymore and actually slightly trusted him. When they had finished making breakfast Akai and Ai started to wake everyone up. Akai started with the FBI and Ai started with Shinichi. Gently, Ai shook Shinichi’s shoulder. He mumbled something incomprehensible and slowly opened his eyes. When they had finally opened, the first thing he saw was Ai. He blushed at the closeness and pulled back a bit. Ai raised an eyebrow and said, “Breakfast is ready.” Shinichi blinked twice and finally nodded his head in understanding. He slowly got up, stretching, and headed to the kitchen for breakfast. Ai then continued to wake everyone else up, including Hattori and the professor, and a few FBI agents. After 5 minutes, everyone was up and eating in silence, going over the plan in their heads. Around 10 in the morning, everyone filed into the cars parked out front. Ran was coming to check on the professor’s house because he, Ai, and Conan, had supposedly gone camping, and she wanted to check on the house just in case. She was surprised to see lots of vans parked out front and people leaving the house. Right before she called the police she saw the professor leave the house. Behind him came Shinichi, Hattori, and Ai. Her eyes widened at the sight of them, and watched as they stepped towards one van. When she saw Akai and Jodie step out of the house as the last people and join them in the car she realized that they were all FBI agents. Confusion hit her. She understood why Hattori and Shinichi would go, but why Ai and the professor. She was surprised to see Shinichi, but everything else had overwhelmed her more. She wanted to follow them, but she knew there was no possible way to do so. Instead she mustered up the courage and walked towards them. Hattori poked Shinichi in the ribs and whispered, “Kudo-kun, you’ve got company.” Shinichi swiveled his head around to look where the other detective was looking. His eyes widened as they landed on Ran. This is my story don't copy ~Tacticalwolf~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 awesome! Looking forward to the next chapters... It is so amazing... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 On 10/10/2010 at 7:52 AM, Shuuichi Akai said: awesome! Looking forward to the next chapters... It is so amazing... thanks ^-^ was there anything i needed to improve? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mysterious girl 3 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 wow!! amazing chapter! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mysterious girl 3 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 now i can't go 2 sleep unless i finish the story i mean till i read chapter 4 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 10, 2010 On 10/10/2010 at 6:09 PM, mysterious girl said: wow!! amazing chapter! thnx ^-^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
J3nny 22 Report post Posted October 14, 2010 sup' cool chapie! new 1 fast Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 15, 2010 thanks ^-^ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Officer Kaoko 142 Report post Posted October 15, 2010 Uhm! Hello there¬ sorry for my late reply. The connection had been cut off again (Internet-Wire Thieves again!). And my PC charger had been broken, so I’m using my mom’s PC, and I’m not very comfortable here. Anyway… Bye-bye ! Wait, I’m just kidding! Okay let’s begin with reviewing your awesome story : Wow, this story is amazing; I’ve got to admit that this is much better than your other one! And thank goodness that you separate the chapters. Like your other fan-fic I was like… I couldn’t finish the entire story in one day (because I’m busy somehow), so I decided I’ll read it bit by bit. And then when I was about to continue the story the other day, I was like… “Where on earth am I up to now!” and so… I don’t know and then I discontinued reading it… sorry! I’m glad you divide this in chapters. Wow! Your writing skills are awesome; I wish I could write like you ! I’ve read 3 chapters so far, and I decided to give each chapter its review, so I wouldn’t spoil anything for the readers. Okay, it was very amusing how you made Agasa’s house a resting place for the FBI, haha! Hattori is there too? Nice! In this fan-fic I think you’ve made Haibara-san a bit out of character here, like… uhm! Its dramatic how’ve you made Haibara there… but, I think somehow… it’s unusual for her to be feeling sad like that (I don’t know how to express it by words XD)... and then when Akai-san (wait, is he still alive?) approached her and whispered to her, “You love him,” I think that’s when Akai is totally out of his character (right, Shuuichi Akai (from DCW)?)! I think it’d be better if you made Jodie take that role. And with Shiho’s character, I think she would more likely deny the fact that she likes Kudo. Like this (in my humble opinion): “You love him,” whispered a voice. Ai spun around after pulling on her mask. “Jodie-sensei...!” she muttered, “I- It’s nothing like that…!” she said as she turned her blushing face aside. Jodie smiled at the little girl… her and her love for ‘cool guy’… it’s so romantic… just like in the movies! (LOL! Please don’t take this part seriously… I was half-kidding !) And about Akai-san, it’d be more dramatic if you made Haibara still hated him… like… she couldn’t forgive Akai for using her sister, Akemi Miyano to get the information on the syndicate by pretending to be her boyfriend, and then leading her to her own death. Haibara must ignore eye contact with him, and hate him that she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with the person who tricked her beloved sister! Hahaha, I would have preferred it that way though, yohohoho! And wait, Shuuichi preparing breakfast??!! Mmm…I think you’ve made a mistake here: Hattori poked Shinichi in the ribs and whispered, “Kudo-kun, you’ve got company.” Heiji doesn’t use name suffixes with Shinichi. He calls him just by ‘Kudo’. It made me laugh once how Heiji referred to Haibara as ‘Ano chichai onee-chan (that little lady)’, Ahahaha! It was so funny! Oh, and add ‘Oi’ before ‘Kudo’… no reason… Ohohoho ! Okay… now for the next chapter ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 15, 2010 Quote Uhm! Hello there¬ sorry for my late reply. The connection had been cut off again (Internet-Wire Thieves again!). And my PC charger had been broken, so I’m using my mom’s PC, and I’m not very comfortable here. Anyway… Bye-bye !Wait, I’m just kidding! Okay let’s begin with reviewing your awesome story : Wow, this story is amazing; I’ve got to admit that this is much better than your other one! And thank goodness that you separate the chapters. Like your other fan-fic I was like… I couldn’t finish the entire story in one day (because I’m busy somehow), so I decided I’ll read it bit by bit. And then when I was about to continue the story the other day, I was like… “Where on earth am I up to now!” and so… I don’t know and then I discontinued reading it… sorry! I’m glad you divide this in chapters. Wow! Your writing skills are awesome; I wish I could write like you ! I’ve read 3 chapters so far, and I decided to give each chapter its review, so I wouldn’t spoil anything for the readers. Okay, it was very amusing how you made Agasa’s house a resting place for the FBI, haha! Hattori is there too? Nice! In this fan-fic I think you’ve made Haibara-san a bit out of character here, like… uhm! Its dramatic how’ve you made Haibara there… but, I think somehow… it’s unusual for her to be feeling sad like that (I don’t know how to express it by words XD)... and then when Akai-san (wait, is he still alive?) approached her and whispered to her, “You love him,” I think that’s when Akai is totally out of his character (right, Shuuichi Akai (from DCW)?)! I think it’d be better if you made Jodie take that role. And with Shiho’s character, I think she would more likely deny the fact that she likes Kudo. Like this (in my humble opinion): “You love him,” whispered a voice. Ai spun around after pulling on her mask. “Jodie-sensei...!” she muttered, “I- It’s nothing like that…!” she said as she turned her blushing face aside. Jodie smiled at the little girl… her and her love for ‘cool guy’… it’s so romantic… just like in the movies! (LOL! Please don’t take this part seriously… I was half-kidding !) And about Akai-san, it’d be more dramatic if you made Haibara still hated him… like… she couldn’t forgive Akai for using her sister, Akemi Miyano to get the information on the syndicate by pretending to be her boyfriend, and then leading her to her own death. Haibara must ignore eye contact with him, and hate him that she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with the person who tricked her beloved sister! Hahaha, I would have preferred it that way though, yohohoho! And wait, Shuuichi preparing breakfast??!! Mmm…I think you’ve made a mistake here: Hattori poked Shinichi in the ribs and whispered, “Kudo-kun, you’ve got company.” Heiji doesn’t use name suffixes with Shinichi. He calls him just by ‘Kudo’. It made me laugh once how Heiji referred to Haibara as ‘Ano chichai onee-chan (that little lady)’, Ahahaha! It was so funny! Oh, and add ‘Oi’ before ‘Kudo’… no reason… Ohohoho ! Okay… now for the next chapter Ergh... Actually, I don't feel that Akai or Ai is out of character. Ai is about to go and fight those he hated, she still has no idea whethere she should or not take the pill, whether people will hate her after she takes the pill, and most of all, whether he will lose her beloved one. In Akai's case, Akai might just be showing his detective skills. He is pretty much as good as Shinichi you know? They have the same things in mind and judging from all the cases with Akai, I consider him equally smart with Shinichi, though Shinichi is a bit, or let's say far worse when it comes to intelligence and knowledge about love. Haibara hating Akai?"And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand: And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand? " (Matthew 12:25-26).Haibara is smart and she knows that it isn't akai's fault.It is the black organisation's. For me, she is wise, and all that. Akai preparing breakfast? Why not? He could be able to simply scramble an egg, or make some noodles, or toasted bread and spread jam on it... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Officer Kaoko 142 Report post Posted October 15, 2010 On 10/15/2010 at 10:37 PM, Shuuichi Akai said: Ergh... Actually, I don't feel that Akai or Ai is out of character. Ai is about to go and fight those he hated, she still has no idea whethere she should or not take the pill, whether people will hate her after she takes the pill, and most of all, whether he will lose her beloved one. In Akai's case, Akai might just be showing his detective skills. He is pretty much as good as Shinichi you know? They have the same things in mind and judging from all the cases with Akai, I consider him equally smart with Shinichi, though Shinichi is a bit, or let's say far worse when it comes to intelligence and knowledge about love. Haibara hating Akai?"And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand: And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand? " (Matthew 12:25-26).Haibara is smart and she knows that it isn't akai's fault.It is the black organisation's. For me, she is wise, and all that. Akai preparing breakfast? Why not? He could be able to simply scramble an egg, or make some noodles, or toasted bread and spread jam on it... Why don't you just simply follow up to my review ! Akai-kun, you may have said too much (I was the one who actually said too much )! I follow up to my own review and that's how I view my opinions ! Hehehehe, I'm just so awesome And don't say anything till Tacticwolf-chan sees this! You are out ! I feel so bad just now... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 15, 2010 Hahahaha... Too bad...I just ruined your 'perfect' plan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 16, 2010 lol, you both know i love you ^-^ anyways, thank you for the review Kaoko~chan! i love how you put in the cute lil pics.... ok sorry, not really bout the story... so let's get down to business... truth is, we can't fully grasp ai's personality since she doesn't SHOW her emotions... she never speaks her mind about some things... so i sort of had to guess, and sides, we don't know much about akai but that he says very little and is very smart and handy (with guns and weapons and such ) anyways, sorry for the little errors like the -kun added in when hattori was talking i'm human too (i think) i'm allowed to make mistakes (i hope) and i do make them (obviously) anyways, i needed akai for this because even tho he doesn't have completely major roles... i can't have ai hating him... besides, we don't even know what ai really thinks of shuu... they haven't met since shiho was an adult and her sister was still alive.... an yes, shuu is alive... i'm going with the idea that shuu was okiya, and scar shuu was bourbon... and bourbon has already been taken out... (just kinda skipped) or if you wish, you can believe that i wrote this from a viewpoint of before shuu supposedly died... but i wasn't i just forgot that most people wouldn't know my view on who was who and where i was coming from sorry bout this anyways, love ya both! *hugs* (P.S. about that longer chapter one... hehe, sometimes when i'm writing i don't stop and i don't feel like separating the 75 pages on word so i just post the whole thing in notepad and go, 'screw it, i'm through' anyways, i thought about it this time and cut it into smaller sections, much smaller than i'm used too, but i think that i cut them at pretty good places) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 16, 2010 Erghhh... Ttw, I have a question. Why aren't both bosses in the story. Anokata and james black hasn't even been mentioned once. Camel too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 16, 2010 becuz.. i didn't feel like making it too elaborate... and truthfully, i just completely forgot about james black (lol) i have him in another fanfic and i guess i just forgot for this one now camel on the other hand.... yeah... i had forgotten him completely Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 16, 2010 Hahaha... No wonder... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 16, 2010 yup ^-^ i mean, i completely intended for this to be a shihoxshinichi fanfic, so when i decided to make it start before the downfall of the syndicate, i then realized that i would need to actually write that or else others might not be too happy... cuz i mean, a lot of people are after the downfall and less after the actual pairings.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 17, 2010 ... I don't quite get your last sentence. ..Can you please... thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 17, 2010 what i mean is, if i were to say that they are preparing to take out the syndicate, would you rather see both the destruction of the syndicate AND the shinshi part, or just the shinshi part? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 17, 2010 Owww! Of course the 1st one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 17, 2010 exactly, that's why i had to write the downfall part, otherwise... well some people might not be happy with a 'And so, the syndicate was finally dismantled by Shinichi and Shiho, along with the FBI and their friend, Hattori Heiji. The fact that they are Conan and Ai is unknown, at least, for now.' then i would have to write the part where Ran finds out again, and in more normal circumstancs, I'm not sure how to make Ran find out... -.- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 18, 2010 So how's the next chapter going? smooth or are you running out of ideas... or too many endings to choose from? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 18, 2010 no no, i finished the newest chapter... i just need to type it up, and since i'm bout to go to school i have to do that later after school... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scar Akai 65 Report post Posted October 18, 2010 wooo... looking forward to reading tomorrow after school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted October 18, 2010 let me drink some tea and i will get to typing it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites