hopes 237 Report post Posted January 12, 2011 Summary: I've been transported to the world of Detective Conan. I don't know how or why. Conan finds me outside of Agasa's. I know so much, it shocks them. We'll work together to stop the Black Organization. Will we be successful? I started this a while ago. It's posted on FanFiction as well. It's still on going, and I try to type daily. Here's chapter one. My life will never be the same again. Not after what happened to me. Not after I was dragged in to the world of Detective Conan. One fall day, I was walking home on my regular route from school. No one was around, and it was quiet and peaceful. All of a sudden, a portal opened underneath me, glowing and shining. I started falling, and I screamed. Geez, Edogawa Conan thought. It’s pretty chilly today. Conan was walking to Agasa’s house to talk to him and Haibara about the antidote. He turned the corner and saw a girl lying on the ground outside the Professor’s house. Conan rushed over and checked her pulse. She was alive, just unconscious. He breathed a sigh of relief. Conan looked at the girl closely. She had raven black hair that was shoulder length. She looked about five feet tall and about 13 or 14 years old. He took out his Detective Boys badge. “Haibara? Come out. I need some help here.” I must have lost consciousness, because I woke up on a couch. I was in a house with a very high ceiling. Everything was white. Then, I realized I recognized the place. This was Professor Agasa’s house! I should probably explain. I love Detective Conan! It’s my favorite anime and manga. I know a lot, but not everything. All of a sudden, I heard a childish voice. “Are you alright?” I turned to look. I gasped. It was Edogawa Conan, the shrunken form of Kudo Shinichi! “Conan?” I said. Conan blinked. “How do you know my name?” “It’s a complicated story. This is Agasa’s house isn’t it?” Now, Conan looked shocked. “How do you know that?” He asked suspiciously. “Look, maybe you should get Agasa and Haibara. I’ll explain everything when they’re here.” Conan looked like he was about argue, but he just did what I suggested. Conan shouted, “Professor! Haibara! Come here! It’s important!” A few moments later, they came rushing in. “Shi-Conan, what’s wrong?” Agasa asked. Conan pointed at me. “It’s this girl. She knew my name and that this was your house.” Agasa stared at me in shock. Haibara looked at me warily. “Is it possible she’s one of Them?” “Let me explain.” Ok, it's not the best right now. If people want me to, or they're curious, I'll post the next chapter. It gets better. If you don't want to wait, go to FanFiction.net and search for Chelseaj500. You can find it there. I would appreciate it if people told me what they thought about this. Arigato~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted January 12, 2011 is ok... as long as you help pair conan and ai up, i'll def keep reading! (usually i don't like when stories mix a person from reality in... i dunno, they just bug me, but if in the story you help conan and ai get together, i'll be fine with it ^^) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted January 12, 2011 is ok... as long as you help pair conan and ai up, i'll def keep reading! (usually i don't like when stories mix a person from reality in... i dunno, they just bug me, but if in the story you help conan and ai get together, i'll be fine with it ^^) I usually don't like these stories either, Funny I'm writing one, huh? Well, I like the pairing ConAi, but I also like the pair ShinRan. I think Ai better than Ran, but... Hm, this story doesn't really have pairings. But there is a hint in later chapters between the Conan and Ai. Thanks for replying! :grin: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted January 12, 2011 Pretty interesting! Keep writing, keep writing! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hopes 237 Report post Posted January 12, 2011 Pretty interesting! Keep writing, keep writing! Actually, it's already written. I've wrote a lot. I'm gonna post the second chapter soon. Thanks for replying! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kiel95 86 Report post Posted January 13, 2011 Pretty interesting! Keep writing, keep writing! just keep writing, writing, writing, and write on and on and make a lil aicon romance yaaaaay~ i definitely will keep reading! (though, of course, i can't love it as much as normal fanfics sowwy TT-TT) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tengaku squared 291 Report post Posted February 2, 2011 Yay! My evaluations are now all up to date! Now I will wait for next chapter... Your score is 85%: 80% to 91% (Great) - Stories here may have a few errors, but the story's a great read. Starting Impressions: Maximum: 1 point Is it neat? (Hm...it's good enough.) 1/1 Format: Maximum: 2 points Is the format concrete (does the story remain in 1st person, etc.)? If it is not, does the author give warning of a format change? (Uh...you to Conan perspective = awkward) .5/1 Does the format make sense for the story? (Yeah...) 1/1 Grammar & Punctuation: Maximum: 3 points Are there any errors? (Um...no) 1/1 Do they impede, or disrupt the story? (No errors. Cool flow.) 2/2 Personality: Maximum: 3 points Do characters have any sense of personality? (Um...I find it hard to look for some...) .5/1 Do characters's reactions make sense according to their personality? (Would Conan bring a stranger into Agasa's house?) .5/1 Does their personality MAKE SENSE? (Normally Haibara is the one who refers to "them", not Agasa) .5/1 Plot: Maximum: 5 points Does it make sense? (Nice flashback transition) 1/1 Does it generate excitement, or otherwise spark interest in the reader? (You know, for a starter it isn't half bad...tad short...) 1.5/2 Is there any order, however unobvious? (Yep.) 2/2 Overall Presentation: Maximum: 6 points Does it leave the reader overall satisfied? (Why do you think I am even reading this series?) 2/2 Does it leave the reader wanting more, or leave on a great conclusion?(You know, you can just end on Agasa's line and it would be better) 1.5/2 Does it show effort? (Guess.) 2/2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aeyra 260 Report post Posted February 26, 2011 You hinted AiCon? Where? I guess if it was hinted then I missed it, because even if a fic is AiCon I purposely find ShinRan in there, even if it doesn't exist. Maybe as you post the chapters here you could fix them up and add more detail because your earlier chapters were a little short and somewhat rushed. Just saying! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cindy-Chen 82 Report post Posted October 30, 2011 Really nice. Keep on going! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
anniemay 2 Report post Posted December 13, 2011 It's cool and great that you're still going on with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
