Into the World of DC

[hopes 237]

Well, here's chapter 2. I decided to post it after all.

“Let me explain.” I sighed. Kami-sama, this is gonna take a while. “First, my name is Chelsea. And I know a lot. First, that is Agasa Hiroshi,” I said, pointing at Agasa. “He makes lots of things, such as Conan’s glasses, shoes, etc. Edogawa Conan is fake and he is really a shrunken Kudo Shinichi.” I continued, while all three of their faces paled. “Haibara Ai’s real name is Miyano Shiho. She was a scientist in the Black Organization and her codename was Sherry. She created the APTX 4869.” I finished.

“WHAT? HOW? THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!” Conan and Haibara shouted.

“I know this, because I’m not from this world. My world is… well different, yet not. Anyway, how I know, well…. I can’t really tell how. Sorry.”

“So, you’re from a different world?” Agasa asked.

“Yes. I’m not sure how I got here though. Maybe I was sent here for a reason…?”

Conan started pacing around. “So, Chelsea, what are you going to do now?”

I sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. But, I do know there are a lot of murders around here. Could I possibly stay with you or Agasa…?”

Haibara looked sharply up at me. “No.”

“Haibara! She’s not part of the Organization! What if they find out about her and try to capture her?” Conan asked. “Come on, we have to do something…”

“No. What if she’s lying? What if she’s Vermouth in disguise?”

Uh oh. I don’t have any proof that I’m not Vermouth. Crap.

“Look, I’m not Vermouth. Try, um… pinching my face as if there was a mask?”

Conan nodded and walked over. “Sorry about this,” He muttered. He pinched my face and felt around for a mask. “I feel like Nakamori looking for Kid.” I flinched rubbing my cheeks after.

“Is that enough proof for you Haibara?” I asked.

Haibara sighed and looked up at me. “Unfortunately, yes. Vermouth can’t be you. Well, Professor? Should she stay with us?”

Agasa nodded. “Yeah, she can. She shouldn’t stay with the Mouri’s. Since Ran and Kogoro already have to take care or Shinichi.” Conan nodded.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Chelsea, but Kogoro probably wouldn’t allow it…”

I smirked. “Yup, I know, remember? Anyway, I wanna meat Ran!”

Conan smiled. “You know, I think she and you will get on nice…”

“Ahem?” Haibara coughed. “Enough with the pleasantries. Chelsea, we need to make a new name and reason why you’re here.” Agasa, Conan, and I nodded in agreement.

“I’m actually from America. I can speak American, and I know a little Spanish. I don’t really know Japanese, though…”

Agasa blinked surprisingly at me. “Really? We’re speaking Japanese right now.”

I gaped. “Are you kidding me? Hm, maybe I just know it because I was transported to this world. Strange, to me it doesn’t feel like we’re speaking Japanese.”

“Hm… I think you’re right. That’s the only logical reason.” Haibara said. “Anyway, we need to figure out your profile.”

“Well, I know a first name I like. How about Miyuki?” I suggested. “I’ve always liked that name.”

“Sure,” Agasa agreed. “Now, I think you should say you’re a relative of someone here and you came here from America.” Everyone nodded.

“Chelsea, er, Miyuki could be my sister.” Conan said. “We both look a little alike because of our hair.”

“I guess that could be an idea, but how would we explain how I suddenly showed up?” I asked.

“We could say that you were helping to take care of Kudo-kun’s parents, but they sent you here to stay with your brother.” Haibara suggested.

“But wouldn’t it make sense for Chelsea to stay with Shinichi then?” Agasa questioned.

“Well, how about we go and talk to Ran then? Let’s see what she thinks.” I said.

Conan hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. “Ok, so you’re name is Edogawa Miyuki. You’re my older sister and thirteen years old. You were staying with my parents in America, but decided to come and check up on me. Is that about right?”

“Yup,” I grinned. “This is gonna be so fun!”

Haibara glared at me. “Chelsea, please. This world is very dangerous.”

“Yeah, I know. But my world has murders and stuff like this too.”

“But, you need to be extra careful. We have the Black Organization to deal with. Also, Kudo-kun is a body magnet. He’s like the god of death!” Haibara smirked a little as Conan glared at her.

Agasa coughed. “How about we get Ran-chan over here now?”

I grinned. I admit it. I was really excited to be in the world of my favorite anime and manga of all time! “Sure!”

Conan couldn’t help smirking too. After a second though, he sighed. “Crap. I have to tell Hatorri. Kami, I wonder what his reaction is gonna be…”

“Ooh! I wanna meet Hattori Heiji too! His Osakaan accent is kinda funny.” I giggled.

Agasa sweat dropped, Haibara looked at me like I’m a weirdo (probably ‘cause I seem like that to them), and Conan chuckled a little.

“Yeah, you got a point there-” he started, but he was interrupted by the door swinging open. We all looked up and guess who?

“Yo, Kudo!”

Hm, well... It's been a while since I've looked at this. There is a slight mistake. See if you can find it! Please tell me your thoughts!

[tengaku squared 291]

Creative as I thought!

No, I can't find the mistake. Sorry.

[hopes 237]

I'm glad you like it! The mistake is that Ai has a Black Org sense so she should be able to tell

I'm not from the Organization. I dunno, I could have edited it, but... It's been a while since I've looked at this chapter.

[Kiel95 86]

pretty good ^^ thro in some aicon *phweeeet*

[Bubbles 0]

REALLY great story!

keep on writing!

[tengaku squared 291]

I'm going to finish evaluating your fanfics tonight!

Your score is a 88%. (I round up)

80% to 91% (Great) - Stories here may have a few errors, but the story's a great read.

Starting Impressions: Maximum: 1 point

• Is it neat? (Enough....) 1/1

Format: Maximum: 2 points

• Is the format concrete (does the story remain in 1st person, etc.)? If it is not, does the author give warning of a format change? (It stays in a good first person script format...) 1/1
• Does the format make sense for the story? (Already told you. Want. First. Person.) .5/1

Grammar & Punctuation: Maximum: 3 points

• Are there any errors? (meat --> meet) .9/1
• Do they impede, or disrupt the story? (The "meet-->meat error made me laugh...) 1.9/2

Personality: Maximum: 3 points

• Do characters have any sense of personality? (Again...yes) 1/1
• Do characters's reactions make sense according to their personality? (Haibara should be more worried. Oh yeah, Haibara really doesn't openly call Conan a death god.) .2/1
• Does their personality MAKE SENSE? (Haibara is a bit paranoid...) 1/1

Plot: Maximum: 5 points

• Does it make sense? (Again, teleporation into DC. Nothing makes sense. ) 1/1
• Does it generate excitement, or otherwise spark interest in the reader?(Talk, talk, talk, and Hattori.) 1.9/2
• Is there any order, however unobvious? (It's a little unorderly...) 1.8/2

Overall Presentation: Maximum: 6 points

• Does it leave the reader overall satisfied? (Meh...it's good enough) 1.5/2
• Does it leave the reader wanting more, or leave on a great conclusion?(Hattori entering = WIN! But you could end better...) 1.8/2
• Does it show effort? (You know what I'm going to say...) 2/2

[Cindy-Chen 82]

Nice! I like the cliffhanger.

[OldJustal 36]

Awesome !

I want to be transported into DC

Then I would be haibara's stalker ...

[hopes 237]

XD Wow...

[OldJustal 36]

What's with the wow ...

[anniemay 2]

As good as the last one

[Valkyrie 72]

Like it! Very creative!

[hopes 237]

Oh my. People are still reading this? :o

[Anti-APTX4869 181]

Oh my. People are still reading this? :o

yes I am. and I'm still trying to find your FF... 뉴_뉴 I like it a lot.

EDIT: NVM Found it! (hetalia pic... lol)

[hopes 237]

XD You found it, eh?